Who I am Today
by mbierl9911
Summary: Sequel to Nowhere to go. Edward and Bella continue lifes adventures. ON HOLD. I will still reply to all reviews and PMs.
1. First Steps

**So here's the sequel, guys. Probably next week (once I'm ahead enough) I'll start updating every other day, not including Sundays. Enjoy! **

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Who I am today- Chpt 1- first steps.

BELLA POV-

"Ma!" Connor walked towards me with his arms outstretched, and I picked him up. He had started walking about a week ago while Edward was on a long distance trip, and I couldn't wait until he got back tonight and saw. It may be mean to keep it from him, but it would be worth it to see the look on his face. I'd even gotten the video camera set up to capture it. Of course everyone else knew, including Esme and Carlisle, but I'd sworn them to secrecy, and so far no one has slipped. It's been painfully hard for Emmett, though.

Rose and Emmett would be having their own baby in about six months, and everyone was anxiously awaiting the babys arrival. Alice couldn't wait until the sex was determined, so she could empty all of the available children's clothing stores within a two hundred mile radius. I couldn't blame her, I'd had Connor for a year and a half, and I was still obsessed with all of the cute clothes there are.

I refrained myself from squealing when I thought about Edward seeing Connor again. He may not be his biological father, but he's become the best father any child could ever have. He was already Connors father, and I doubted that Connor even remembered Jacob Black. After the final court case had happened just over two months ago, I have been more carefree and happy. It seems like a huge weight in my life is gone now, just because I know he will be locked behind steel bars for the next five years. At first Edward was mad at himself for Jake getting away with so little, after he had broke his restraining order and landed me in the hospital, but I convinced him that it would be plenty of time. I shuddered remembering the case.

Of course my parents had been completely hostile and on Jake's side. They had always cared more about my boyfriends than me, having been so old fashioned that I was surprised they didn't drown me when I wasn't a boy. After I had been born my parents couldn't have any more children, increasing their hate towards me. I might as well have been the devils spawn for the way I was raised.

I was hit by a huge depression after court. It wasn't that my ex husband had been put in jail, or that he had hurt me so badly. It was actually seeing my parents take the other side, literally. Parents were supposed to be there for you no matter what, stand up for you in court even when you've committed murder. Mine wouldn't even take my side when my ex husband had beaten me. I had vowed a long time ago that if I ever had children then I would be a good mother. I would say that I had done a pretty good job so far. I had a healthy handsome little boy, who was learning and growing every day, it seemed. It's incredible how fast he's grown.

"Okie?" Connor tilted his head and whispered in my ear. Edward had taught him how to whisper right before he left. He didn't get it at first, and would still squeal at full volume in his ear, but he was getting the hang of it now.

"No, Connor. No cookies until we eat dinner." I sat him down in his highchair and got his train plate down from the cupboard. I put some green beans and chicken on his plate, and filled a sippy cup with milk. He loved the 'grown up' food, and I was having more and more trouble feeding him baby cereal or baby food anymore. He was just in a huge hurry to grow up, apparently.

I gave him his food and went to get my own, and then sat down with a sigh. Days were so long without Edward. I anxiously glanced at the clock. One hour. Time had been dragging on and on today. Well, for the past two weeks, to be precise. I fed Connor and myself, cleaned up, and started cleaning the apartment. I had cleaned it this morning, but it's amazing how messy little boys can be.

I had lost track of time and snapped out of my cleaning rant when I heard a key in the doorknob. Shoot! It was nine already! I grabbed Connor and ran to the video recorder, pushing record. I plopped Connor down so he could do his thing. Two things happened next. The phone rang, and the door opened, revealing Edward looking stunning in a black suit, contrasting his alabaster skin. I quickly ran over to the phone, so it wouldn't mess up my video.

"Hello? Can you please hold, a moment?" I tried to keep my patience, but they had wrecked my perfect moment I'd been planning all day.

"No, I'm afraid I can't. This is the Anchorage Borough police department. Is this Bella Black?"

My heart stopped beating. "Bella Swan, actually. But yes? May I ask why you are calling?" My face must have alerted Edward because he walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Just his scent calmed me as I inhaled deeply.

"Your parents have been in a car accident, and are in critical condition. They are in the Anchorage Hospital, and it is requested that you go there immediately."

"I will. Thank you, sir." I hung up the phone in a daze. Why had my parents been in Alaska? They definitely preferred their sunny Florida much more than Alaska. It was January, and reaching ridiculous temperatures.

"Who was that?" Edward breathed in my hair, and I had to shake my head to focus.

"The police. We have to go to the hospital. My parents were in a crash."

Edward immediately went into panic mode and began packing all of the things Connor would need while I packed us a bag. When I walked back out in the living room I realized I had left the camera rolling. I went over to shut it off when Connor decided it was time to show Edward his surprise, and rose up to his feet and took a few wobbly steps. Edward came flying down the stairs, saw the end of it, and promptly dropped the bag he had been carrying, his mouth flying open

"B-Bella?"

I laughed to myself. "Yes Edward?"

"D-D-Did he just walk?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"About a week and a half." I remained nonchalant, as if it wasn't a big enough deal to have told him.

"Why didn't you say anything?!" He scooped up Connor and began tickling him, causing the soon to be cranky toddler to begin his squeals.

"I'm sorry… I just wanted to surprise you. But Edward? As much as I would love to tell you all of his wobbly step stories, we have to go."

He suddenly remembered what was happening before and picked the bag back up, Connor still tucked under his arm.

I quickly shut off lights and locked up, jogging out to the car. Edward had already put Connor in his car seat, and was starting his truck when I got out.

We didn't really talk as Edward sped to the hospital, partially due to the horrible roads and partially because I just needed to think.

There was no reason why my parents would be in Alaska. There was nothing here for them, and tourists hardly came during the coldest months. I wasn't even used to it yet, and the temperature shock could probably kill someone as old as Charlie. Besides, would they even want to see me? They had made it very clear that I was no longer their daughter, so I don't see why my presence, much less Edwards, would do anything to benefit them. They had abandoned me. I had raised myself. So why was I so worried about them?Because even though they don't want to be, they are still my parents. Because even though they had abandoned their only daughter, I didn't have the heart to abandon them, too. I couldn't deny it; there would always be a hope inside of me that wished they would take me back. Say how they just wanted to make sure I was tough enough, it was just a big joke, let's go for coffee and catch up on the twenty some years they'd missed out of my life.

Stop it, Bella. Your stupid little fantasies were never going to come true. If they had actually planned on that then they would have done it when they saw you could successfully live on your own. Not when you're almost 25.

Edward cut the engine as he pulled up to the hospital.

He looked over at me, his face etched with worry and concern. His face was tired, and I absentmindedly wondered when the last time he slept was.

"Bella. Are you okay?" His forehead was creased with worry wrinkles, and I reached over to smooth them out.

"Yes." I tried my best to keep my voice steady and firm, and it must have worked because Edward simply nodded and opened his door.

Moments later we walked through those dreaded doors. It would always be the same. The smell of the disinfectant, the flowers sent in by bosses, friends, husbands, parents, and children. The smell of the coffee shop nearby. But most of all fear. How many people had walked through these doors knowing that what awaited them was not a new baby, not good news. How many people had felt the emotional pull towards those doors, drawing them closer and closer, and hearing them swoosh shut behind them, seeming to seal them to whatever fate was awaiting them.

I walked up to the front desk to an elderly woman who looked overworked and overtired.

"Can I help you, miss?"

"I'm here to see Renee and Charlie Swan. The police called me…" I trailed off, waving my hand.

"Of course. Are you all family?"

Shit. "Yes." I lied through my teeth, hoping it was believing. She doesn't know anything about me, after all. For all she knows we're just a happy family here for a not so happy ending.

"Room 312" Things must have been worse than I thought. The third floor ominously stood for death. That's where they put all of the critical condition people, people with cancer, dying people. People they didn't expect to walk out on their own. Instead be carried out on a stretcher, headed to the nearby morgue.

Get a grip. You have other things to worry about, Bella.

"Thank you." I whispered, grabbing Edwards hand. We walked over to the nearby elevator, Connor gurgling in Edwards arms, blissfully unaware of what was going on.

There was a nurse in the elevator, and as we stepped in she asked which floor we would be going to.

"Three."

The look she gave me was fully of pity. She knew much more than I did about that horrible third floor.

The doors opened with a chime, and I walked through them, Edward right behind me. I took a right at the nurse station and walked a short ways down the hallway. 310…. 311… 312. I stopped short and took a deep breath, bracing myself for what I would see.

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**Starting out with some drama... Hope you like! **


	2. Third Floor

Who I am today- Chapter 2- Third floor

BELLA POV-

Beep… Beep… Beep…

The two heart monitors going off at the same time would surely drive me crazy soon. When I first walked into the room I was shocked. Renee and Charlie were barely recognizable. You couldn't even see their faces; they were like huge gauze mummies. Edward, Connor and I were now sitting in the chairs provided, waiting for the assigned nurse to come and fill us in on what exactly had happened, and what was going to happen.

I tapped my nails nervously on the chair while Edward went around the room and pointed out each of the bleak decorations, that were somehow meant to make you feel as if your loved ones were comfortable there.

I looked up swiftly when the door opened a bit more; producing the nurse we had met before in the elevator.

"Hello. My name is Angela, I assume you are…" She glanced down at her clipboard. "Ms. Swan?"

"Bella, please." I talked quietly. "This is Edward, and my son, Connor."

Angela nodded in their direction and returned her gaze to her clipboard. She read through it briefly and then went over to do all of the routine checks and replaced a bag in my fathers IV. She wrote a few things on her clipboard and then walked over towards where we were.

"Well." She began. "The police report says that they had been driving along the freeway, hit a rough patch of ice, and rolled their vehicle. Neither one of them were wearing a seatbelt, and they were found twenty feet away from the vehicle. They both have scraped up faces, fractured skulls, your mother has a broken arm and leg, and your father has fractured his spine." She sighed, flipping the page.

"Both are in critical condition, but your father is slightly worse than your mother. Visiting ends in about ten minutes, but you're welcome to stay longer. Do you have any questions?" She looked up at us.

Both Edward and I shook our heads, and the nurse said her goodbyes and left the room, leaving us in silence.

"Well, what do you think?" I asked Edward.

"I don't know."

"I think that we should head home. The hospital will call us when they wake up, right?"

He nodded.

"Then we might as well go home. It's past Connors bedtime anyways." I reasoned with myself, trying to give a valid point as to leave my parents in critical condition on the third floor of the hospital.

"Alright." He wrapped his arm around my waist and we made our way back down to the parking lot, driving home once again in silence.

I fell into the routine of getting Connor to bed, trying to keep my parents out of my head. I knew that we would be back tomorrow, but I still felt guilty. Then I remembered that when I was in the hospital they hadn't even come to claim me as their own, and the guilt disappeared.

My emotions were a mess, to say the least.

I sat down with Edward on the couch, leaning into his chest and breathing in his soothing scent.

"Welcome home, honey." I mumbled. His homecoming had been ruined, but I still felt the need to say it.

He chuckled. "Thank you."

I tilted my head upwards to give him his welcome kiss, and he leaned against me, so that we ended up lying together on the couch. After a few minutes he broke the kiss, kissing my nose and forehead before hugging me close to his body and throwing the blanket draped on the back of the couch over us. I turned on the television and flipped to the movie showing on Encore. It was The Phantom of the Opera, and I was immediately intrigued. This movie had always completely amazed me.

Tears came to my eyes as the couple on the screen sang their beautiful dreadful duet, confessing their love and sealing the girls fate, as the phantom watched on, and then sang out in agony.

I snuggled closer to Edward, and his hand came and rested on the back of my head, pressing me against his chest. I sighed and made myself relax, and feeling exhaustion kick in, succumbed to sleep.

**XXXXXXXXXX--XXXXXXXXXX (**_**Time Lapse)**_

**Edward POV-**

I felt myself jolt awake as the phone started ringing. I looked down at Bella, who was still fast asleep. I swear she could sleep through anything, unless it's Connor crying. Then she is awake and right by his side faster than I can remember to blink. I slowly stood up a walked towards the phone. It probably looked more like a drunk stumbling around the town sidewalks, but that's completely beside the point.

"Hello?"

"Is either Mr. or Mrs. Swan available?"

"That would be me." It took me a second to realize that they had thought Bella and I were married, and then another second to realize I had just claimed I was both Mr. _and_ Mrs. Swan. And then yet another to realize my last name was Cullen, not Swan. Needless to say I was not exactly the most alert at the moment.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but Charlie Swan has passed away."

"Oh."

"You may come by the local funeral home tomorrow to either have the body transported to your home of choice, or arrange a funeral there tomorrow morning. Good night."

With that whoever had been the one to tell me hung up. How am I supposed to tell Bella? She won't know what to do, or think, or _feel_. She thinks she hid it, but I could see how lost she was today at the hospital. Like she felt she didn't belong there, and yet was obligated to at the same time. And now her father had died? Or did she even consider him her father anymore? I sighed, running my fingers through my hair and walked over to the couch where Bella had fallen asleep. I decided that I would carry her to our bed and then wake her up, in hopes that the short trip would bring her at least a little ways out of her deep sleep.

I made my way towards the bedroom, nearly missing hitting her head on the doorframe. That would definitely not be the best way to wake her up, but I had to remember that if it was ever a huge emergency. This, I decided, only counted as a partial emergency, and even it was more of an emotional emergency.

"Bella." I gently shook her shoulders, trying to get her to wake up. The only thing I got out of her was a small sigh and to get her to roll over.

"Bella. The house is on fire!" I tried to shout quietly, but it didn't work.

"Bella. Bella. Bella. Bella. Bella." After about two minutes of this I gave up, shaking her shoulders one last time, and then crawling into bed with her. Curious, I tried one more thing.

"Bella. Connor is awake. He needs you." Instantly her eyes fluttered open. Ridiculous.

"Connor? Oh, okay." She swung her feet off of the bed, and began walking away, but I caught her around the waist and pulled her next to me.

"Actually, that was just me in a pathetic attempt to wake you. I need to tell you something."

"Oh. So Connor?" Her face was full of confusion. She really had been out cold.

"Is sleeping, he's fine." Her features visibly relaxed.

"The hospital called." Tense again. Stupid Edward, I thought to myself. You could have just lied and then she would be fine. At least until she started hating you because you lied to her about her father dying.

"And?"

"Charlie died tonight, Bella." I looked at her, trying to assess her reaction, but there was none.

"Oh." Her arms reached towards me and wrapped around my neck, and I pulled her even closer to me.

"How am I supposed to feel?" Her answer completely broke my heart. Of course it made sense to not know exactly how to feel, but I just wished that she had had normal parents, and hadn't missed out on so many memories with a father who now didn't even exist anymore. At least when most peoples fathers die, they've been able to have a supporting father, had someone to be a great grandfather towards their child, support them, grow old. Bella hadn't had that.

"I don't know, honey. I don't know." I tucked her head underneath my chin, and then looked down to kiss the top of it.

"So we have to go to the funeral home tomorrow?" She asked.

"Yeah. Apparently they aren't open at four in the morning." I made a pathetic attempt to make her smile, and she offered a weak one that didn't even come close to meeting her eyes.

"Okay." She buried her head in my chest and I felt her breathing even out after a few short minutes. I, however, was still in some kind of shock. Apparently this was a much bigger deal to me than her.

I stayed awake thinking about a number of things before I could relax. Connor thankfully hadn't had much contact with his grandparents, so this wouldn't affect him too much. I was seriously worried about Bella, though. She was obviously confused, and I couldn't blame her. I was a little confused myself, and he wasn't even my father. I was more overwhelmed, I suppose. I didn't know how to take care of a grieving person, and Bella was so much more complex than the average person. Instead of reacting like billions of other people would, she always surprised me. Like with Connor walking. I know for a fact that when Rosalie and Emmett's baby starts walking, whoever is home with it will call the other up immediately. Bella somehow held in that excitement for almost two weeks before I could find out. I know that I wouldn't be able to do it, that's for sure.

Another thing I had been thinking about while I was away, is that while we all fit in our apartment now, Connor is going to grow. He's going to be a energetic kid who never quits bouncing around, and an apartment complex isn't exactly the best place for that. I would have to start looking for a house near here. The thought excited me, although I was intimidated by it at the same time. I couldn't wait to own a house with Bella, and raise Connor with her in it. On the other end, I hated moving. It is a long process that includes never ending work, in which you don't get much sleep and don't eat as much as you're supposed to. Don't get me wrong, I would love to move Bella and Connor into a house, but I was going to talk it over with Bella before I did something to surprise her.

I went into Connors room and tidied up a bit, and watched him sleep for a few minutes before I realized that I was exhausted. I made my way back to our bedroom and settled in beside Bella, hoping that tomorrow wouldn't be too horrible. Of course, I was wrong.

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**Only 6 reviews for my second Fanfic... Oh well. I suppose people who had been loyal to the first haven't checked up to see this one yet. The every other day thing is not going to work wednesday, seeming as how i'm halfway through the next chapter, and block scheduling makes me have 5 to 7 hours of homework every night. Plus dance... Ugh. I don't even want to think about it. I'll try to update soon, let me know what you think. Reviews really get me motivated (wink wink, nudge nudge, cough cough)**


	3. Funeral Homes and Hospitals

Chapter 3-

Funeral Homes and Hospitals-

Bella POV-

I rolled out of bed and stepped into the shower, forgetting that today wasn't just an ordinary day until I saw Edwards face full of pity when I walked out of the bathroom. Today was the day I would have to plan my fathers funeral. The day most people dreaded in their lives. I had never really thought about the possibility of it before. I had always just figured one of their friends would do it if they had died together, or the other would plan the deceased's funeral.

"Bella." Edwards arms wrapped around me instantly, and I inhaled deeply, trying to calm myself.

"I'm okay, Edward. Really."

He nodded. "I dropped Connor off with Emmett, so we're ready whenever you want to head out."

I gulped. I had at least planned on enough stalling time to get control of my emotions, and had planned on doing that by getting the baby ready to go, visiting with Rose, etc. There goes that plan.

We made our way to the funeral home, and walked in its heavy doors. I was immediately struck by the scent of flowers and cleaning supplies, like someone had tried to disguise the hospital like smell with that of a homey one. It didn't work. I glanced around. The funeral home had actually been a huge white house that stood on the corner of the block, with large elaborate flower beds surrounding the steps and wheel chair ramp. Inside, it was decorated as if it were an old time mansion, with chairs and pictures and even a piano in the corner, but no real furniture. No one lived here, after all.

I tried not to think of what they used all of the other rooms in the huge house for.

"Welcome to Carlsons Funeral Home. How may I help you today?"

"I need to plan a funeral. He was shipped here earlier? Charlie Swan?" I was tempted to say that I wanted to play hide and seek in the coffins on display. Why else would I be at a funeral home? I had nothing else to do on my spare time, apparently. _Settle down, Bella._ I thought to myself. I was just stressed and crabby. No need to take it out on the workers.

"Yes. Have you decided on traditional burial or cremation?"

I hesitated, trying to think back. When we had talked about if should something happen, what would you like us to do for your funeral type of thing, I was ten. It wasn't exactly a priority of mine at the time. Both Renee and Charlie had picked traditional. I had picked cremation, always being the black sheep.

"Traditional."

"Alright, please come right this way with me, and I will show you our selection of coffins we offer. Now, you can also look in the provided catalogs, and pick out one to be shipped here, which should be here in one to three days…" The worker went on and on as we were led downstairs, to where there was a elegant display of both coffins and urns, with coffins placed randomly around the room and urns on small coffee tables and placed on the wall, like they were some sort of art.

The whole place made everything sink in. I hated it. I hated this place, and all I wanted to do was get out, but I couldn't. I couldn't escape the building until everything was in place, until everything was perfect for the father that I didn't even really have. I felt like I had been cheated out of a way of life, like something important had been missed.

Suddenly there was a huge void in my life. Every time in high school I had shrugged it off, saying that all parents were like mine were, not allowing me to go anywhere one minute, and then not caring at all in the next. After all, that 's what everyone else made it sound like. Their parents were mean and controlling too, right? Their parents didn't really care?

I didn't even live with my parents after I turned fifteen. There had always been a small loft over our garage, and I lived in it, seeking solace in the comfort of the quiet. Sure, it was lonely, but it was better than being told how worthless I was everyday. Then, there had been holidays. The holidays where we went and pretended to be a family. Where we pretended that we shared our lives together, lived together, knew what was going on in each others lives. We faked it well. We had to.

If anyone had found out that a fifteen year old had been living on my own it would have been bad. Everything was kind of hard at first, before I had gotten my license. Afterwards I quickly found a job, raising money to get food and things I needed. Luckily my parents still paid the bills for the loft, but they had only asked once if I had needed food. We basically lived separate lives.

I had always received strange looks from teachers when asked what I did on my spare time. My answers were always clean, cook, go to work, and catch up on homework, while my friends planned parties and family reunions, fishing and hunting trips, shopping at the mall and going to the movies.

So here I was, picking out a coffin for someone who I had only pretended to know. I didn't even know what color he had preferred. I pointed to a dark wooden one, with a dark green inside of it.

"That one." The man nodded, writing it down on his sheet.

Before we left we had figured out flowers, music, who would preside over the funeral, the catering, the coffin details, the preferred cemetery, buying the plot, and legal things such as death certificates.

Needless to say, I was completely worn out within the few hours that we were there.

It didn't help that as soon as I walked in the door I was ambushed by a very hyper Alice, who apparently had never spent hours in the funeral home before.

"Bella? I've decided that you need something to get your mind off of this." She moved her hand in a circle, as if the area highlighted represented everything that had happened in the last few days.

I, stupidly, decided to play along.

"What would that be, Alice?"

"Shopping. Duh." She rolled her eyes as if this was painfully obvious. Now that she mentioned it, it was sort of painful.

"Alice." Edward lowered his voice, trying to make it sound menacing. Alice just raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, really, Edward. Lowering your voice isn't going to turn you into the hulk. I'm taking her."

Edward shook his head and left, to what I assume was to get Connor back from Emmett.

"But Alice?"

"Yes?"

"Can we stop by the hospital either before or afterwards? I want to see if my mom is awake yet. I told her nurse that I would stop by today."

Alice nodded. "Sure, Bella. I'm not going to keep you from seeing your mom."

We made our way to the mall, listening to music and talking. I made a huge attempt to distract myself, and I found that it worked for the most part. That is, until Alice made her way to the Victoria's Secret store. And not the kid friendly side with the lotions and perfumes, either. It donned on me that when I went to visit my mother later I would most likely have lingerie in the back of my car.

"Alice?" My voice didn't come out as strong as I'd hoped it would.

"Bella. Come on. You need something to surprise Edward with. I promise it won't be some over slutty sex suit. You just need something for pajamas besides sweatpants and old musical theatre shirts from back in high school.

I hung my head guilty. Just last night I had worn my AIDA shirt, along with black sweatpants. Alice simply knew me too well.

I simply stood there as Alice piled things in my arms, well aware that she had known my clothing size for as long as we'd known each other. She took every opportunity she could to 'spice up my wardrobe' with miscellaneous gifts that most would find unnecessary.

I was soon pushed into a dressing room and told to pick out at least one, or she would dress me up like a maid. I complied.

I tried on the matching sets, tugging here and there, trying to see which ones would allow me to cover as much skin as possible. No way were Edward and I ready for this yet.

It took me a while to find one that I found suitable, and once I found it I quickly moved all the others to the tried on pile. This one wasn't too revealing, looked fairly innocent, and yet had met Alice's guidelines beforehand. Perfect.

It was a simple white dress, if you could call it that, with lace along the top and bottom. The top had a light purple ribbon woven through, and the bottom had small ruffles along it. It was a spaghetti strap, which was fine. I'd worn tank tops around Edward before, so that wouldn't be a problem.

"This one." I said, emerging from the dressing room. Heads turned my way, and I could feel a blush rising to my cheeks. Alice clapped her hands and bounced in delight. Was it normal for someone to be this excited about shopping? I couldn't help but notice that she already had a bag in her hand. I shuddered, not even wanting to think about why or what she had bought.

She noted my choice, and shook her head with a smile. If I wasn't nervous before, I was now.

I was surprised to find that she didn't have anything else planned but that one store, compared to her all day shopping trips that were Alice's norm. We simply stopped by the Orange Julius stand, Alice getting her strawberry while I got my orange. We sucked down our drinks on our way to the hospital, not really saying much.

"I'm surprised you didn't throw a fit." She said, teasing.

"I'm surprised that the one store we went in still has inventory. I'm even more surprised that you somehow limited yourself to one store." I teased back. She shook her head and laughed.

"You underestimate me so much, Bella Swan."

"Sorry?"

We made our way to the hospital, and walked in the automated doors together, being hit with the horrid smell and noises as before. I made my way up to my mothers room, surprised to find that she had just woken up.

"Mom." I went over and took her hand in mine. I was sure that to any outsider we would look like a normal family. Just like we always had.

"Bella?"

"Yes, mom. It's me."

"Why are you here? Where's Jacob?"

"Jacob is in jail, remember? He beat me, and broke his restraining order, remember?" I couldn't help but feel the little part of me that had hoped things could be fixed completely shrivel up and die. She didn't even want her there, after all she had just done for her father. She just wanted Jacob, just like she always had.

"I know he's in jail, Bella. What I mean is where is he? Can't he come and visit me? I'm practically his mother."

My heart sank at this. Of course she would ask for Jake. They had been so much closer than we were.

"They can't just let him out of jail, mom. If that happened they would be dealing with people faking sick all the time just to give the person a chance to escape."

"Oh. But why are you here? Where's Charlie?"

"Dad died last night." I lowered my eyes to the floor, not wanting to meet her gaze.

"How? What happened?"

I inhaled deep and began. "You and dad were in Alaska for some reason, and then you hit a patch of ice and rolled the car. You both suffered from multiple broken bones and fractures, and were in a coma for a day or so. Dad just never woke up. I went to the funeral home today, actually. It's in two days."

"Oh." She just laid there, looking kind of shocked. I was almost angered by her reaction. It's as if she didn't even care that he was gone. Like I had cared more than she did, and he hadn't even been a big part of my life. From what I remembered, they had been everything to each other. Wouldn't that lead to crying hysterically? I know that if something happened to Edward even now that's what I would be doing.

"Mom? Why aren't you shocked?" I bit my tongue, hoping that this wouldn't set her off in some mad rampage.

"We both knew this was a possibility before we even came here." She whispered.

"What are you talking about?"

"The jail. The guards are armed, you know. One of us could very likely have gotten shot."

Now I was completely lost. Why was my mother thinking that if she went to jail to visit Jacob that they would get shot? Maybe she had some brain damage or something.

"Mom, why would you get shot at?"

"That's what they do when you try to bust someone out. That's why we came here, Bella. We had to get Jake out of there. He didn't do anything wrong."

**I suddenly got inspired last night, and this was the result. I would have posted it but i finished at about one in the morning, so i decided to wait. Hope you liked it. Let me know what you think. **

**There is also a poll up... Vote, please?**


	4. Tears

**Here's your update, thanks to all of those who reviewed, they really got me through this in those moments where i was completely stuck.**

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Chapter four-

Tears-

Bella POV-

I ran out of the hospital with a hand clasp over my mouth, trying to stifle the sobs and screams that were somehow escaping from it. I hadn't even realized that I'd been crying until I saw some wary glances in the elevator. They hadn't been from nurses or doctors, though. When I met those later on down the hallway they simply ignored me, after all I was just another person crying in a hospital. Not exactly a rare occurrence.

I started running towards the parking lot, and then stopped, realizing that I had left Alice waiting outside of my mother's hospital room. I picked up my phone and dialed her number, only to be interrupted by her calling me.

"Hello?" It came out more as a sniffle, but I think she still understood the intention.

"I'll pick you up in the car. We'll talk about it later."

With that, she hung up. I sighed to myself. Alice always knew when to just shut up and let me think. Regardless of what other people thought, she didn't constantly talk and shop. She is probably the best friend anyone could ever have.

She pulled up in her shiny new car and waved me over. I settled in the passenger seat, and then leaned forward to rest my head on the glove compartment.

"Now?"

I shook my head. No, I didn't want to talk now. I doubted that I'd ever want to talk.

"Edward will be mad that I brought you back like this." She wasn't really talking to me, more mumbling to herself, but her words were still clear. I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. Cry because I felt guilty about this happening when I was with Alice, or laugh about her comment. Yes, Edward would probably be mad, but certainly not at her.

I shook my head and looked at her, attempting to smile.

She drove quickly down the streets, and I prayed she didn't hit ice. I hated driving in the winter, and now my parents accident had only added onto that fear. All too quickly I found myself in front of the apartment building, just kind of looking at it.

Alice came up behind me and scanned her card, opening the doors with both her and my bags in her hand. She led the way to Edwards apartment, and I followed her. When she got to the door she stood to the side and waited patiently for me to unlock it.

It was completely silent.

"I'll stop by later tonight and we can talk, okay?"

I nodded, and she left, going back to Jaspers apartment.

I peeked into Connors room, knowing that if they were here they'd both be in there. Sure enough, there was Edward with Connor on his chest, both of them asleep.

I smiled weakly and went into the bedroom, setting my bags down. Then I crawled in under the covers still in my clothes, crying silently until sleep claimed me, ending the pain.

Edwards POV-

I knew that something was wrong when Bella didn't come and wake me up when she got home. The sky was dark and the clock above Connors crib said that it was 9:43pm. Bella should have gotten home hours ago. I glanced down onto my chest where Connor was still sleeping, his little hand balled up into a fist that was tucked against his face. I set him into the crib and put a lightweight blanket over him. I'd learned that he didn't like to be hot when he was sleeping.

I walked towards the kitchen, where I had left my cell phone so that I could call Bella and ask where she was. I Normally wouldn't be the type to call the minute someone is late, but Bella had left in the early afternoon, and said she would only be gone a couple of hours at the most.

I caught a figure in the corner of my eye, lying on our bed, which startled me until I realized that it was Bella. Frowning, I walked towards her. She was curled up under the blankets, fast asleep. Her face was wet, like she'd been crying. I settled myself in down beside her, and wrapped my arm around her, trying to wake her up. She did so easily.

"Bella? What's wrong? What happened?" My questions bombarded her, as her eyes started to fill up with tears. My heart sank at the image. I hated it when Bella cried. IT felt like my heart was trying to rip itself out of my chest, from the tugging feeling I felt there.

"Oh, Edward, it was horrible. They'd only come here to break Jake out of jail. She doesn't think he did anything wrong. She wasn't even bothered by Charlie's death; she just said something about how they knew it could be a possibility. What am I supposed to do now? I'm the one responsible for her. I know it's wrong to just leave her there, but I don't know if I could go back…" She waved her hand aimlessly, trailing off. I hugged her closer to me, crushing my body against hers. Her body shook as she took in a large breath, which was followed by countless sobs as she cried out the days events.

I couldn't blame her. I was enraged, personally. I couldn't believe that Renee would say that to her own daughter. I'd thought parents were supposed to support you, but clearly that was not what Renee and Charlie had believed. I wondered if they had been told some lie a long time ago that gave them some reason to distance themselves from their only child. I mean, sure, parents wished for a boy or girl all the time, but they still loved them even if it turned out their child was born the opposite sex they'd been hoping for. It just seems like the excuse her parents had given her wasn't exactly valid.

I shook my head, cradling Bella against me as we spent a very, very long night just trying to get through this.

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Edward POV-

I'd thought that the morning would be better.

I was wrong.

The morning passed as the night did, with Bella's empty sobs and me holding her, my shirt soaked from her numerous tears. There had to be some point where you became so dehydrated you couldn't cry anymore, right? We should have reached that point hours ago. I had left once Bella had fallen asleep last night to call Emmett, asking him to pick up Connor in the morning. This way, Bella and I could be together without having to worry about what Connor was getting himself into. He had been ecstatic, of course. It had been a while since he had been with his favorite 'nephew', as he had taken to calling him.

"Bella?"

I was replied to by a snuffle.

"I'm going to make some toast, you need to eat something. Alright?" I brushed some hair off of her face that had stuck to it with the wetness of her tears.

"Okay. Can I shower first, though?" Her big brown eyes looked up at me, and I couldn't help myself as I leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Of course, Bella. It will probably make you feel better. I'll start the toast when I hear you get out, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you." She sniffled once more, and then made her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

I did what I'd said I would. I got dressed for the day and made the bed, picking up the house a bit until I heard her get out of the shower. It did surprise me, though, when I felt her long arms wrap around my waist. When I jumped in surprise I could feel her chuckle.

"You were right, of course. I do feel a lot better." Her cool lips pressed against the back of my neck, and I turned around to kiss her properly. The toaster popping up with our breakfast interrupted us.

Bella groaned, and I smiled at her reaction. It had started to become harder and harder to stop myself with Bella lately. It was nice to know that she felt the same way. At least along some lines, anyways. Some days I was sure that she would be the death of me, although that had yet to happen.

We ate our toast in silence, Bella deep in thought about something. I would assume it was about either her father, her mother, Jacob Black, or all of them. If she was, though, she had gotten surprisingly stronger since her shower, because her eyes never showed any trace of tears in them while we were eating.

"Bella?" I looked at her when I had finished my toast.

"Hmm?" She lifted her face up a bit, so that the sunlight hit it fully. Even though we had been living together for a couple of months there were still moments when she was so incredibly beautiful it literally took my breath away. I shook my head to clear it before I continued.

"Are you feeling better?" She nodded quickly, and then took both of our napkins and put them in the trash, going to the counter to wipe up the crumbs I'd left there. How was it that women found things like that so quickly? I swear, Bella could spot dirt away from across the apartment.

"I'm so incredibly glad." I pulled her towards me for yet another hug, letting our kiss linger for a few moments before pulling away.

"So am I." She smiled at me. A weak one, but I could tell that it wasn't forced.

"I want to talk to you about something."

"Alright. What is it?" She walked over to sit on the couch and I followed her, sitting down next to her. She leaned against the armrest and propped her feet up in my lap.

"What would you say about finding a house in town?"

It took her a minute to think, and process. "Why do you want to move out of the apartment?"

"I just want Connor to have room to run and play. The apartment complex doesn't really have a yard, much less one big enough to play with or put a swing set up in. Plus, let's admit it, this apartment isn't big enough for a growing little boy. Soon he's going to be running around and this place is going to feel claustrophobic."

"So we would be going with you?" Her voice wavered at the end. I motioned for her to come over and I held her close to me. I can't believe she thought I would move without her. That's exactly the thing she would do, and I should have seen it sooner.

"Of course, silly. If it was just me I would stay here. But I consider you and Connor a permanent part of my life, even if you've only been here for a few months. We've been through a lot together, Bella. I'm not just going to ditch you. Please promise me you'll never forget that."

She blushed, of course.

"I- I'm sorry. I just thought, well, I don't know what I was thinking. I know it isn't exactly fun all of the time to have a toddler in the house. But what will you do with your office? You work here, your office is here. You'll have to drive to work if we move." She reasoned. I couldn't figure out why she was protesting this. I'd thought that she'd be excited, much like Alice would be. I'd seen the way her apartment had been decorated, even though she'd just moved in. I would have thought she'd be jumping at the chance to have a clean canvas for her ingenious designs.

"We can have an office in our house, but I'm thinking about just working at the Law Firm all the time, now. Emmett still works here, and so do you. I understand if you don't want to now that you'll have to drive, but you'd have to drive for any job."

"Oh, no, I would still want to work here. Just, Edward, a house is expensive, are you sure about this?" She looked me in the eyes, and I could see her excitement growing.

"Of course, Bella. I actually have a place that I'd like to go look at tonight. Would you like to come with? I've already cleared it with Emmett." I looked at her hopefully, praying that she'd finally given in.

"Of course I would! I have to call Alice now." She immediately declared, suddenly serious. "She would probably kill me if she wasn't included."

I picked up my cell phone and called Emmett, to let him know she had agreed to going and visiting the house, while I heard Bella talking to Alice, her thoughts away from yesterdays events, which was the goal for talking about this now, all along.

**I got my eyelid stabbed today. I wish i could find a statistic on how often that happens. It was bleeding like crazy, too! My friend is lucky i flinch easily..**

**So review, and then go vote in the poll. I really want to get a second story started, so let me know what you want!! I also have writers block with this story, so let me know what you would like to see in it? Please?  
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	5. Luminous

**So i suck at updates. I've been really sick, and completely overwhelmed. Here's your new chapter, so forgive me?**

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Chapter Five- Luminous

Bella POV-

I looked over at Alice, who had somehow ended up in the backseat with me. Or, should I say I somehow ended up in the backseat with her, leaving Edward all alone in the drivers seat. Alice and I burst out in a fit of giggles again, as if we were 14 all over again. I saw her bouncing in her seat and was about to say something when I realized that I was doing the exact same thing. There was no way I could sit still at a time like this.

We were house shopping, officially. Edward and I were going to go alone, but of course Alice needed to see the house, as I had told her she could help decorate, and she of course needed to see the maximum potential the house could hold before we even considered it.

We hadn't planned on Alice coming with us. It had been just Edward and I before, thinking that we would get a quiet, peaceful day to ourselves. Then Emmett had pointed out that house shopping was never peaceful, and then someone had told Alice. Enough said.

We were now driving to look at a huge four-bedroom house. Apparently, when Edward said house shopping he'd really meant we would be buying a mansion. I didn't quite understand the reason of even looking at a four-bedroom house, when between the three of us we would really be occupying only two of the rooms. I suppose that Edward would need one for his office, and then one could either be a library or Connor's playroom.

I stopped my bouncing and instead just rested my head against the side of the door, sighing. We had only been driving about ten minutes; the house was on the other side of town. But right now that felt like forever stretching by in front of my eyes. I noticed that Alice continued to bounce.

We had now reached the other side of town, and Edward was stretching his neck, trying to read all of the numbers on the mailboxes we passed, while also trying to match up the picture he'd found of the house we were going to look at. He shouted in victory as he pulled up in front of a very large white house. It looked slightly like the mansion I'd visited when I was younger, or at least like I'd remembered it over the years.

"Edward?" I just had to ask, even though I knew that it would be completely useless to even ask.

"Yes?"

"Why are we looking at such a huge house?"

I honestly couldn't tell you who sighed louder, Edward or Alice. It turned out that it was incredibly stupid to ask that question. Even more so than I had thought. I spent the next twenty minutes in the car being drilled on why a huge house is important, that it allows for growth, is a great opportunity, how I'll love it, how there will be lots of room for entertaining and guests, and so on and so forth. Then, since I obviously didn't learn the last time, I made a remark on how I still thought it was unnecessary. Stupid, stupid, me. After another ten minutes, I was finally allowed to get out of the car, after I admitted they were right, and this was a great opportunity. Gag. Me.

So here I was, stumbling up the brick walkway, after we had entered the gates and drove halfway up the huge half circle driveway. It's not that the brick was uneven, it was almost disturbingly perfect, the entire house was, along with the landscape. Every decorative bush and tree was kept perfectly trimmed, the flowerboxes weed less, and the grass was perfectly manicured.

"Um… Alice?" I figured that she, out of the two of them would have maybe a two percent chance of listening to me. Edward was used to me complaining by now, so I knew things would be useless with him.

"What, Bella?"

"Doesn't it look a little _too_-"

"Perfect! I know!" She squealed once more, and ran up the walkway, bouncing at the door impatiently, waiting for me.

I sighed in frustration. No reason to point out it would never look this perfect once we got behind on the enormous yard, or the house started falling apart. I had to remind myself to not be so harsh on a house I hadn't even seen yet, and finally made it to Alice, with Edward shortly behind me.

"The agent said it was unlocked- it's a self showing thing."

I whirled around and shot him a confused look.

"They trust people here, Bella. It's actually really common."

"Oh." I guess that makes sense. They knew that you were coming, so if you did anything to the house they'd know it was you anyways.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get this over with." I opened the door, almost tripping on the doorframe before I saw it and stepped over it cautiously. I heard Edward chuckle behind me, and was going to say something, but I was speechless.

When you opened the door, there was a hallway going straight ahead, but to both of your sides there were large, elegant staircases that wound their way up to where they came to nearly meeting upstairs, at the hallway that stretched across. There was a gorgeous chandelier hanging from the ceiling, and the entire scene looked like some kind of huge ballroom at prom. This was a fairytale house.

We made our way through the rest of the house, me speechless trailing behind Edward, trying to soak up every last little detail. I desperately wished that we had taken my camera with so that I could remember this house always. There was even a balcony from our bedroom, overlooking the perfect yard, which I could now see had a fountain.

I suppose that if you were interested in the modern things this might not have fascinated you as it did me, but I had always been obsessed with these type of houses, anything old, really. I had gone through a phase when I was about 15 when I would only listening to classical music. Vivaldi was my favorite at the time, and I was designing houses in the older style, exactly like this. With the grand entrance and twin staircases, with the balconies and hidden passages-

I sudden whirled around and started checking every inch of the house. Edward ran after me, not knowing what I was up to.

"Edward!" I screeched, still running. "Did they say anything about passageways?"

"No. But I know where to look for them." I could tell he had stopped behind me, so I did also.

"Show me."

We went to the kitchen first, checking to make sure all cabinets were really there, and then bedrooms, opening drawers, pushing in light switches, everything we could think of, to find nothing. We literally checked everything in the house, leaving us in the private library. Yeah. This house had two libraries. And a formal and non formal dining room, and living room. And an entertaining room. It was literally a mansion. I started messing around with all of the books on their shelves, and was trying to reach up when I fell. I grabbed the first thing that I could, and then realized that this would cause the bookshelf to fall on me. Instead, I found myself swinging a bit.

"No way! These are the best kind!"

Edward turned to me, his face serious. "This is our new house."

I smiled. "I know."

Edward immediately dialed a number into his phone, and within ten minutes a middle aged woman was walking up the walkway. The best way to describe her was the word librarian. She had thick black glasses, with a high pencil skirt and blouse. She looked extremely professional and a bit intimidating. Apparently Edward didn't have the same impression. Then again, he saw people like this all the time at court, so it wasn't out of the ordinary to him.

"Mr. Cullen?" She asked in a dry, bored tone.

"Yes."

"And you are interested in purchasing this house?"

"Absolutely. I would like to know what paperwork to fill out. The loan has already been approved from my bank, and I have more than enough ready for a down payment today, as long as you are okay with a check."

This came as a bit of a shock to me. This house had to be what, at least $500,000? At least. I didn't even want to think about what the down payment would be. And he had that much already? Right now? This was definitely news to me. I don't know why he was living in his own apartment complex if he had that much money. Then another thought hit me. He was a lawyer. A very good one at that, he had become more and more popular recently. And he was an owner of a new apartment complex that had also been filling up quickly. He couldn't exactly be struggling, could he.

By the time I was done with this Edward was done reading over the paperwork, and was signing it. I almost stopped him to ask if he should take it and have his lawyer check it out, when I realized that he was a lawyer, making myself feel extremely stupid and glad that I had been slow enough to not realize it in time to open my mouth and say something. Today was just a very, very off day.

Well, after that thought process was over, I realized that Edward had given the lady the down payment, and soon I was signing my name on the deed. I looked to Edward to make sure it was all right; buying a house together was huge. He nodded reassuringly and grinned.

"Now, would Isabella and Edward please come with me? I'm sorry, but this is confidential information." She said, looking at Alice.

"No, really, it's okay." Edward protested.

"Highly confidential. It's for security reasons. I am not authorized to give out information to anyone other than the two owners of the house." The lady spoke in such a monotone, robotic voice I was sure I would start laughing.

"You guys go ahead. It's really not a problem." Alice said, waving us ahead. I could tell the lady wasn't going to give this up, so I nodded to Alice and walked into the house with Edward.

"This house, although it was built in the late eighteen hundreds, has been recently… updated. With the biometrics system. Your irises are now the keys to your entire house. You will not be able to arm, or disarm your security system without it, open your doors, or the secret walkways of this house. We have to reprogram the system with your prints now, and I will teach you how to do so, that way if you have children they will be able to get into their own house.

After we had done that, and learned now to reprogram the system, gotten the security system up and going, and changed the lock codes, yep, you heard me right. There is a small scanner that scans your eye, and you have to punch in the code. It's that complex. Anyways, after we had gone through all of that, we finally got to see all of the secrets this house held. Apparently Edward and I had missed a few. Along with the book case that swung around, revealing another very private study, we also had the safe room, which was a room that started with stairs behind a small hidden wall in master closet, that led down a passage way into the safe room, which was like living in a cabin. This had its own water source, energy source, and air source, so nothing that happened in the house affected this area. But in case it somehow did, there was a small walkway out of that, which led to the fountain in the garden. Yep. Even the fountain had its secrets. One of the angels that sat on top tilted, letting us squeeze out.

I had mentioned that we would get wet when she told us where we were coming out, but she assured me not to worry. When you press the button for the angel to tilt, it tilts like stairs Stupid me, how could I have not seen that coming?

I was… awestruck. I thought that this kind of thing only happened in movies. Or, in some government thing, I had expected the White House to be like this. Not a house in Alaska, of all places.

"Edward?" The lady had gone back to her office to process paperwork and get us the deed to this house.

"Yes, Bella?" We had gone back to the car, and were sitting with Alice. We had both discussed telling her, but later. It was fun to have this little secret for now.

"Why do we need such an… extravagant house?" I chose my words carefully, but Alice was talking on the phone in rushed, excited words, so I knew she wasn't paying attention to us.

"Jacob." That one word just about said everything. I knew that Edward was worried about Jacob coming back somehow and hurting me, and this was his way of protecting me. Once again, I was speechless.

"Oh."

"What? I'm allowed to worry. Plus, he didn't seem to worried about the steel bars getting in his way at the court trial. He was threatening to come and take you away from me even there in court."

"Why didn't you tell me this before now?"

"I didn't want to upset you. Besides, it has only been a little while. He's not going to get out right away. He'll wait until the guards start to trust he won't do any funny business. Plus I started researching this kind of stuff right away, and just had a feeling this house would hold some of that passageway stuff. I had no idea it would be this much, though. That's why when you found the bookshelf I knew that I would get it, no matter the cost. We were just lucky I had already gotten the loan pre approved."

"Um, oh." There I go again with my wonderful vocabulary again.

"I just- I just needed to know that you were safe, Bella. I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to you. And after what happened with Jacob last time… I was so scared I was going to lose you, Bella. Even when everyone was telling me you were going to be okay, I wasn't convinced until you were completely healed."

I knew that I had fallen in love with Edward a long time ago, but this feeling. The feeling that your heart was suddenly way to big for your chest was so powerful at the moment, I would have given the world to be sitting right where I was, next to Edward.

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**Just a fun little chapter with a twist at the end. I've always wanted a house like this- especially the closet thing. Anyways, pleeeease review! They went down last time, which was sad :(**


	6. NOT A CHAPTER

So I know that I am long past due for a chapter- I just wanted to explain some things.

First of all, I am putting this story on hold. A lot of things have happened lately, including a couple deaths and my boyfriend of two years and I breaking up, that doesn't have me in the best mood. Honestly? Depressed. Can't keep anything I eat down, depressed. Honestly, if I started writing right now I would probably end up killing my characters in some horribly written, very short chapter.

It's been all I can do to take care of my school work, and try to put some heart into dancing. I'm sorry, but hopefully I will finish up this story sometime in the future, it's just not going to be right now.

Honestly, the movie kind of wrecked Twilight for me, or rather, my newly ex-boyfriends comments throughout the movie (Ex. Edward looks like they dunked him in body glitter). I'm just sick of Bella/Edward everywhere, to the point where there is no way I want to type those names over and over.

Once again, I am sorry, especially to those who were dedicated readers and reviewers.

Feel free to comment, I'll reply to any PMs or reviews still.


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